Aqua Chances

In life taking a chance and changing something that has been one way for an extended period of time can be very difficult and frightening. Chances can be taken in many different forms. They do not have to be a huge change to take a lot of courage.

           

On Thursday night I made a change in my appearance. I dip dyed the lower part of my hair aqua. I have red hair so it is quite noticeable and very apparent that I made a big change with my hair. Lauryn also made a big change, she dip dyed her hair hot pink. When we did this we didn’t do it to make anyone happy, impress anyone or because we wanted to fit in. We did it solely based on the fact that we thought that it would look really good. We wanted to be different and have a fun hairstyle. We took a chance. We had no guarantees about how it would look or if we would like it and we really had no way to change it once it was done.

           

 Even though changing my hair color might not seem like a big deal to some for me it is. It is something that everyone will see and people who don’t know me will see and give them bases to judge me. Making a change in your life that can be impactful is always difficult. However, no matter how difficult the change no one should be afraid to do it. If you feel like a change is necessary in your life, think about what you are doing and make sure it is what you want to be doing. Then take the leap of faith. Life is too short to be unhappy so don’t be afraid to make changes big or small to increase the serendipity of happiness.

           

Lauryn's Starting Hair

Lauryn's Step 2

Lauryn's Finished Product

My Starting Hair

My Finished Product

We Love Our Hair

Tea and Poetry

My delicious tea
Photo taken by: Lauryn Crum

I have never been to a poetry competition until Friday night. I went to support my friend Roy, and not expecting to really have that much fun. I tried to go in with an open mind but did not really expect much. My friends and I got dressed up and drove to this fabulous place called Teazers. It is this little funky tea shop that I kind of feel in love with. The atmosphere was fantastic as well as their product. 

 First off, the vibe of Teazers is great, it is very relaxed, very zen.  The staff is very helpful and willing to give advice if you need some help choosing. I took a very scientific approach on choosing my tea. Just kidding I choose the tea that had the prettiest name, however, that worked wonders and I had the lightest, most refreshing and tasty tea I have had in a long time. Lauryn thought that my method was hilarious but I enjoyed it nonetheless. The staff was readily available to answer questions about teas, whether or not it should be sweetened and with what is should be sweetened with. 

 The teas are not just strait bags that you would find at like Starbucks, they hand blend their teas and use tea balls. I thought that was really impressive. A lot of their teas are blends of different types of teas and they take the time to make sure that it is just right before serving it to you by tasting it (this is done so it is sanitary do not worry).  The way that they did this made it seem like a more homey type feel and I definitely see myself going back again. I would highly suggest that if you are in the Fresno area that you go and check Teazers out!

Roy Preforming
Photo taken by: Lauryn Crum

On every third Friday of every month they host a poetry competition. As I said before I had never been before and was not expecting much but I was surprised in how much I enjoyed it. Our friend Roy was in the competition ( his first time preforming in front of people) so we went to support him. He was phenomenal! I thought that he did so so so well. He ended up getting 2nd place. That is so awesome for it being his first time. I am so proud of him! All of the poets were great though and I enjoyed myself immensely.

This upcoming month of May will be their anniversary of the competitions and they will be pulling out all the stops and I can not wait to go and hear all of the words so artistically put together. Also I can not wait to cheer on my friend Roy. It will be great I just know it. 

xoxo Tessa

Changes

            In life, we are all faced with hard life changing decisions. These decisions can cause you to really stop and look back at your life so far and realize many things. They could be good things, though they could be bad things as well. When faced with a tough decision you should go with what you think will be the best for you.

            This concept is a very difficult one for me to grasp and I have personally really been struggling with it. I have spent the last 18 years of my life trying to be the most perfect person that I could be. I played every sport under the sun, I broke records, I got good grades, I volunteered, I was in student government, and even though I did all of those things I was never perfect. I was striving for perfection, an impossible task. Looking for some type of recognition that would make me good enough. So, I did things to make others happy. I lived a very full life trying to please those around me.  

            It was not until I went to college that I really was opened to the way that I had been living. Because all of these brand new people had no expectations of the perfect goodie two shoes that I have been trying to be for my whole life. I soon lived up to no expectations and took a sharp downward turn. However, after living in temptation for about a year I have finally realized many eye-opening things about myself.

            I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. (As much as you might hate it, you will never be perfect either. That does not mean you cannot try because trust me I have tried it but it is by no means worth it.) By living in a brand new environment with people, that I did not know, it really gave me a chance to figure out who I was and what that meant. I may be young and not know everything about myself but I do now know what direction in which I want to live my life.

            I will go back to doing many of the same things I did while I was “the perfect girl” the difference being that I will now be doing these things for myself not because I feel like I have to prove myself to others. I want to be the best person that I can be and live a full happy life that is meaningful. I am done with living in a superficial shell and done living with no expectations.

            It took me months to fully realize the extent of my actions and then took me quite a while to process how I would like to take action and change the way I have been living. I by no means want to give you the impression that it is easy, because it is not. It is hard and there is tears that come, heartbreak, failed relationships with people, and uncertainty. However, even through every bit of that I feel 100% sure that I am making the best choice for me.

            I have lived my whole life trying to please others. Nevertheless, it does not matter what everyone else think of me. For me all that matters is what God thinks of me and that I know I am living in the path he has set up for me. I understand that people have different beliefs and I respect that, this is my opinion that I hold true. You don’t have to do it for the reasons I do but if you do want to make a change in your life you should be doing it for you and not the expectations of others.

            I challenge everyone who is unhappy in their lives to push forward and make a change. My mom once told me “Honey, life is too short to be unhappy!” Since then I have really taken those words to heart. I am living to be the happiest, best version of me. Do not be afraid to disappoint people because you will never be able to make everyone happy. The people who really truly care about you will stick by your side no matter what. I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors.

                                                            xoxo Tessa   

The Floor Has Never Looked So Good!

This post is late, very late but hopefully this post will help you get stuff done!

My room was a mess, a very very big mess, and it was terrible, i had such a small space to live i couldn't do anything. I had my bed, part of my desk, and a "pathway" to my bed from the door. I'm not sure howI lived with it, i just know that changing it scared me.

Wednesday night i decided to employ Stephanie's method of cleaning aka put everything on your bed and then clean the floor then put stuff away method.

IT WORKS SO WELL GUYS, SO WELL!

So, i started by putting everything in baskets- everything and then those baskets went on my bed (i liked this part best, it greatly discouraged me from getting part way in and giving up and going to sleep, because i couldn't!), then i picked up all the little pieces (bobby pins, buttons, bits of kleenex really anything that didn't get picked up with the normal stuff) and throwing away what needs to be thrown away. Those chem notes from senior year of high school? you don't need them, movie stubs from 2009? trash can! all of those empty bottles? you had best believe you can make a slam dunk right into that trash bag.

once i had done this and cleared away most the floor i vacuumed it up!

i started working on my closet next, this was the biggest scary part of my room. one door was broken and could on my open, the other door was broken and could only be closed. so i sucked it up, moved my shoe rack out of the way then i pushed the door that was closed as open as it could then i pushed everything out into the middle of the floor.

the amount of stuff i got into my decently medium small closet was completely ridiculous. so i put everything in a basket and put it on my bed. then i vacuumed the floor of it and got everything down from the very top shelf. i hung up the clothes that needed to be hung up, and put my stuffed animals and blankets on the floor of my closet.

that was done for now, so i moved onto the spot where i was keeping my books.

i wish i knew how i got so much stuff over there, but i did get everything out of there and into those fold-it-yourself office boxes (three plus four general boxes that already had books), also i put all my yarn into one yarn box (i had ended up with three knitting bags and a tub of yarn, now it's all in the tub except one bag with current projects).

i was hanging things up left and write and putting things in the trash and also where they needed to be. i'm not even entirely sure what all was over there, but i'm glad it's gone and consolidated.

it was still pretty messy, BUT YOU COULD SEE THE FLOOR!! which was a major improvement, at this point i really wanted to stop, but i pushed myself to keep going knowing that if i did stop i wouldn't finish it. so i pushed on, i don't even know how many trash bags i took out of my room, but it was A LOT. and i emptied every single basket (except for one but that's for other reasons).

I put like things together and actually hung stuff up and put stuff away in my dresser. there's currently no trash on the floor (as long as we don't count under my bed, i can't actually do that right now mainly due to the fact that i can't move my bed at all).

EVERYTHING IS SO CLEAN!! (i'm still working on my desk, and the end of my bed looks messy but it's a 100% improvement to what it was, i just don't have a place to put my books). i celebrated by hooping to the west wing, and i didn't hit anything!

i could not believe it! i could move about my room, i could walk with my eyes closed and not hit anything. And i did it all myself! that's probably the best part, it just makes me feel so good to accomplish something.

and yes, i know you were wondering if there was a music playlist i was listening to. and you will never guess what it was!

COUNTRY. YOU BET!

I was raised with country for most of my life, how on earth could i ever give it up?!

so? here's a challenge for you, just to start small. look around and find five items that aren't in their places, go and put them away!

Happy cleaning!

XOXO   Lauryn

ps: YOU CAN FIND STEPHANIE IN THESE PLACES: YOUTUBE, TUMBLR, BLOG

exercise tip: don't have time to go to the gym? don't have a gym? grab your backpack and do some squats! you can adjust the weight by putting books in and out.

(PICTURE FROM WWW.OREGONLIVE.COM)

The Status Quo

BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING THIS POST I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THESE ARE MY OPINIONS, AND WHETHER OR NOT YOU AGREE WITH THEM I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU OR ANYONE ELSE.

(image from fanpop)

Now, I know that most of you have seen high school musical, or at least (possibly unfortunately) heard at least one of the songs (by your choice or someone else's). If you haven't heard the song, I invite you to do it now.

All of my life I have been told that I am going to grow up and do something important (because that's what adults tell children to get them to believe in themselves), but I have also been told that I am going to grow up and get married because that is what happens. I will have a house of my own, and a husband of my own with a good job, and I will make dinner, and feed the children, and have a clean house and wear makeup and dress well, and do the laundry, and sort the mail, and do the shopping, and be a good wife, and a good mother. 

Would it surprise you if I told you that I don't want any of these things? I went to a private Christian high school; I’ve been told it's one of the best in the state. Each year the students were required to take a bible class. Senior year we had a section on love and marriage and dating and courting and things of that nature. The man who taught us was a very good teacher, with a wonderful marriage, and a very lovely wife, but the problem about this section was not what was being taught but instead that I felt guilty for not wanting it. I don't want children I don't even like them. I don't desire tying shoelaces, or hanging badly drawn pictures on my fridge, or talking over boy/girl problems late at night, or cooking family meals, or celebrating holidays together.

Almost as long as I remember I haven't wanted children, and I have made this known over the past few years, and the response I always got back was "you will when you get married" or "just wait until you have a child" or even "you'll change your mind". Even when I’m dreaming at night and not in control of what my mind does, I’ll dream I am married and have children, but I have a nanny who takes care of them and my husband and I both work very long hours and hardly see them or each other, and we just throw money at them. It’s as though I had the children so I could say I did, so obviously I succeeded. 
For the longest time I have felt as though it was my duty to the world to settle down and give up my dreams (here is when people say "but you don't have to give up your dreams! Your husband just comes first" when will I come first? When will my loves? When wills my passion? Or do I get all that over with now, before I’m married and locked away forever?) To carry children and give my spawn away to the world so they could be boys and have a wife and accomplish something or be girls and be a wife to a husband who accomplishes something.

I remember my junior year of high school; in my English class we watched a documentary about how America was behind the world because we were not as good in math or science. I remember that this film made me very upset. I was being told that because I am not good in math or science that I am worth nothing to the world, it was a terrible feeling, I don't know if anyone else felt that way but I hope no one else ever does.

We have all been taught that these are the most important things, science, math, and marriage. If we don’t pass this math course, how are we supposed to succeed? Our worth is tied up into what we are told.

So I am telling you now, forget about it. You are worthy of love, and respect, and a good job, and taking classes you want, or not even going to college and shooting right into work, or traveling, you are worthy if you do not marrying someone, and you are worthy if you marrying someone. Let these ideas be your own, want it because you want it, believe because you want to believe. Don’t take on your husband’s beliefs, don’t take on your parent’s, your teacher’s, your pastor’s, your pastor’s wife’s, these beliefs are not yours, not until you have thought about them and assessed each one. Not until you understand why you accept them, why you want to, or why you don’t want to.

I know that by writing this there will be a lot of people unhappy with me, some who do not want to talk to me, or may even insult me. But that is okay, because I do believe in this, because I had made a choice that is my own and not because I was told to. Instead I put myself into the place of the things everyone else wants for me, and I did not like what I saw. I want to have my own opinions and my own beliefs, I want to own it and be proud of what I stand for. But too many times I have been kicked down because they are not what the majority believes, even one of my good friends stopped talking to me because of this because I did not agree with her.

I want, no I need, everyone reading this to know that while I may not like what you believe in or stand for, I may at times even hate it with a passion, or simply have no opinion on it. I will not change my opinion on you, having a different opinion than me, is just that. It’s a different opinion; as long as I’m not personally assaulted by the things you say I will still want to be your friend and still stand by you (this means please attack my argument and not me.)

How to argue:

Do: state your opinion, state your arguments (for or against), give facts and sources to back yourself up (more than just the bible please. Not everyone takes it as fact, or even as truth), have more than one idea, if you do not agree state this in a nonthreatening way, try to understand why they think differently than you (ask them nicely), listen completely (not just to the parts you want, this should go unstated but some may not pick it up LET THEM FINISH)

Do not: call them names, stop talking to them, repeat the same thing over and over, do not accuse them of anything more than they have said (whether or not they agree with it), assume things about their argument, be rude to those who believe different than you (this not only includes name calling, but also your wording, tone of voice, facial gestures, and body language), touch them (this could be seen as threatening, and it will end badly), tell them what they should (or should not) believe

There is a good chance that you will not change their opinion, but there is also a chance that you may. If you follow these suggestions for arguing, you all will come away unhurt (possibly annoyed, but unhurt and your friendship should still be intact). 

XOXO Lauryn