When I first started yoga it was because
my English teacher of the previous year asked me to attend the class she was
instructing for an extra-curricular class outside of school. On that particular
day I couldn’t make it, but the next time the class came around I had managed
to talk a friend into going with me.
The attendance on my first day was small,
about five, and as I quickly saw never more than seven attended. I had thought
that odd, but reflecting more upon it I liked that way. The more intimate
setting really contributed to my love of yoga.
I had attended several classes
that semester, not being able to make them all though I do wish now that I
could have tried harder. For I have been to about ten official classes in my
yoga life thus far. I do however, plan to make that number skyrocket to the
point where counting is something I'm doing.
I don't remember much about this
first class but I do remember that I had yet to get a yoga mat and was
contemplating the linoleum floor a lot. I had been hoping not to fall, and I
didn't. Well, I did but not badly. Everyone falls at least once. I learned this
pretty quick although even now I take it for granted and raise some of my yoga
idols higher than I should. Even myself at times, I will find myself frustrated
when I fall out of a pose I've done several times.
I want to say now that I'm much better
then I was then, but the truth is sometimes I’m not as good as I want myself to
think I am. I find that this is something that I’m learning everyday.
Whether it's pertaining to yoga, school, or life in general. It's in no way
easy and most times I don't like to admit it. I know that I ought to and try to
not hold my expectations of myself higher than I would anyone else.
The
truth is that while I may be only as good as I think I am, I also need to
actually realize how good (or not good) I am. One cannot think themselves good
at, say, playing the flute and then literally pick up the instrument and be
amazing at it. Harold Hill’s “think system” doesn’t really work, despite what
you saw in The Music Man, in no way
should that ever be expected especially not in yoga or life. It’s okay to fall
out of a pose, or to try something again and again until you either get it, or
are okay with stopping at that point.
It’s
not a bad thing to stop when you just aren’t getting something, there is
nothing wrong with it and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you that there is. The
difference and the “wrongness” stems from a little something I like to call
“rage quitting”.
This is when you get so frustrated or angry at
something that you just quit. Such as when you are playing a video game and
just aren’t getting the level, or defeating the boss so you just turn off the
game. While you may feel better at the time, when you turn the game on again
you’ll have either lost your progress or you wont want to play again.
When
I find myself ready to rage quit a yoga pose, my math homework, or even making
cereal I like to remember something that I’ve learned from Josh Sundquist, a
motivational speaker and vlogger. This is his motto “1MT1MT” which stands for “
One more thing, One more time”. I’ve taken it to mean that I need to not give
up when I’m frustrated. So, I now find myself taking a deep breath and getting
back into crow, even though I may want to erase that pose from the whole of
existence at that time.
Beginners
at yoga are not the only ones who fail at a pose, who fall or can’t keep
control of their breathing. These things happen to everyone, while they may
happen more to someone just starting out as you delve into your practice you
will find something that works for you. Whether it’s counting your breaths or
trusting your lungs to do that for you, you will find your way in yoga, listen
to your body and find the path that is right for you.
XOXO Lauryn
