Knitting in the Snow

There have been many changes for me the past 3 months. The biggest change in these past 3 months, which really put all the other changes in motion, was that I moved to Utah. Yes, my non-skiing, southern Californian, warm weather loving self, moved to Utah.  It has been one of the biggest adjustments that I have ever been through. On January 3^rd I moved to a state where I knew a whopping total of 3 people.  It has been a very scary journey.  I knew that I had to do something to meet people and keep myself sane. I saw they were taking sign-ups for a knitting group at a local church down the road. So, I bravely signed my name and waited until the next Friday with great anxiety. I have never been one to shy away from meeting new people but, it was just a mixture of so many new things at once.  So, when Friday rolled around I went armed with my rolling case of knitting supplies and a diet coke. Because, if all else fails you might as well be caffeinated.  

That Friday night, I met some of the best women I have ever met in my entire life. We are all different ages and from different walks of life. But we had two things in common, a love for God and a passion for knitting. This meeting was at the conclusion of my second week being in Utah and it truly put me at ease. It let me know there was a place for me and that I wasn’t alone. Knitting was my key to some amazing relationships in Utah. Knitting with this group of ladies made me feel so at home for the first time since I moved to Utah. It was finally something familiar in my new world of white every place you look and this magical freezing stuff that falls from the sky (apparently they call these things snow).  While at first these classes were a comfy safe haven, they turned into more. We started a project a couple weeks later that was a big undertaking. I have been knitting for years but I never made anything really all that big or complex. I stick to easy patterns that I know I can do and won’t challenge me all that much.  So, when it was brought up that our next project was going to be a shawl I almost didn’t want to go anymore. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to do it and that I would mess up. I became so worried that I didn’t even want to try. 

This safe haven was turning into a challenge. I made it impossible in my head. It was a serious struggle for me and it was made out to be this huge thing. It was pretty ridiculous. But then, I ran into one of the ladies from my group and they told me how happy they were that I joined the group. She really encouraged me and so the night we started the shawl I went in ready for battle. Not only was I going to be making something new, I was going to be working in the round which I have never done before and I was also going to be using stich markers which I had only used once before. I started my shawl about 8 times. Every time, I wasn't sure if I did it right, so I ripped it out. Then one of the ladies saw me and said “Honey you are never going to get anywhere like this, if you make a mistake no one is going to care”, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Since then, I have not ripped out any stitches and am diligently working on the shawl. It has taken me a longer time because I have to take breaks quite frequently because I started to get over whelmed and start to doubt my ability’s. But, I am doing it and I can’t wait until it is finished because it will be true triumph.  

My Utah adventure is proving to be everything I didn’t imagine and everything that I need. It has truly been a learning experience that only life can teach you and I can’t wait to see what else is in store. I will keep you updated with my shawl progress!

Xoxo Tessa

We Can't Stop

Recently I've grown obsessed with the case of "The Bling Ring" as it is currently known as (past names have included: The Hollywood Hills Burglars, and The Burglar Bunch). The Bling Ring was a group of kids in their late teens robbing celebrities houses in from October 2008 to August 2009, the most famous member is Alexis Neiers. At the time of her arrest she was filming a reality tv show on E! called "Pretty Wild" the show stared her and her sisters Tess Taylor and Gabby Neiers. 

Since then, Alexis had served 29 days in prison, then a year in a drug rehab clinic and is now completely sober and a wonderful wife and mother. She took a terrible situation where her life could go very bad, very fast and climbed out of the hole she was in and is now stronger for it. I am proud to look up to Alexis and I am so ready to see how she'll continue the rest of her life, knowing that she still has the rest of her life.

I confess here and now that I have seen all nine episodes of the show, am buying the book (The Bling Ring written by Nancy Jo Sales), and am impatiently awaiting the movie of the same name. I have listened to Miley Cyrus' new single (We Can't Stop) far too many times too count, she has become a fashion icon to me, and I aspire to be as confidant and strong as she is. 

Strength doesn't end with Miley, there are so many women in today's society hotspots making choices that they believe in and holdfast, even when they are mocked and have others trying to knock them down. From Demi Lovato (speaking of Demi, have you heard her new album?! It's great!!) to Taylor Swift,  the girls who used to be shot down for being "silly" or "just another disney princess" have proved to the world that the titles they have been given are so much less than what they are. 

In the british magazine "Company"'s June issue which featured Demi on the cover included several great feminist and empowering pieces, but in the midst of them sat an incredibly triggering article about staying skinny (scans of the article can be found here, BUT I AM ISSUING A HUGE WARNING, DO NOT READ IT IF YOU THINK YOU WILL GET TRIGGERED, IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED PLEASE REACH OUT FOR HELP, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! also Rosianna made a great video about the company magazine thing!!!!!). This seems like a large slap in the face to the actress who has been very public about her own eating disorder and her stay in a treatment facility.

Miley Cyrus has been criticized by so many people for so many different reasons some of these being: her clothes, her hair, racy pictures of her when she was young, pictures of her smoking, and her choice of guys. The other day I was talking about Miley to my sister when my brother chimed into the conversation saying "she was hot before she cut her hair. now she is a lesbian", this completely took me as ridiculous. Miley had been with Liam for over three years and the couple had been engaged for nearly a year. Cutting her hair short had been a dream of her's for years although several people have said that Liam would dump her because of it, or that she looked ugly. Neither of these things are true, in fact her hair only proves that she looks great and can pull off anything.

Even Angelina Jolie has gotten media and fan backlash after revealing her decision for having a preventive double mastectomy. Commenters on her article for The New York Times have been supportive and deconstructive. Some people have said that she did the right thing, that they are in awe of her courage; while others have called her a hypocrite for mutilating her body under the pretext of cancer prevention and have said "this op-ed piece carries the message that the only way to prevent breast cancer is to chop off your beautiful breasts".  I stopped myself from defending her in the comments, only because I was too furious and would let my anger talk for me, and being rude back to someone is never the answer.

All of this to say "HEY, I LIKE STUFF!" high school me would be so annoyed and ashamed of me now, but knowing much more now than I did then, I'm proud to look up to these wonderful women and even more just like them. I will now publicly defend them and listen to them and watch their programs and movies. All the women mentioned in this post are so strong, and I would love to be like them all, and while I technically can't be them, I can aspire to be just as powerful and loving and amazing as all of them. And so I charge on, with the world against me, but hopefully the better for it.

xoxo Lauryn

nail polish colour: Wet n Wild heatwave